Monday, November 22, 2010

RENT-A-BURQA

THIS IS IT! THE 'BIG ONE' ! BIGGER THAN MY IDEA ABOUT BUYING ICELAND WHEN IT WENT INTO BANKRUPTCY 2 YEARS AGO. COMMITTING MAJOR PORTION OF MCLAUGHLIN INVESTMENTS ASSETS TO NEW COMPANY 'RENT-A-BURQA'.

AS YOU ALL KNOW THERE IS A GREAT OUT CRY ABOUT NEW SECURITY SEARCHES AT AIRPORTS. GO TO 'YOUTUBE' AND YOU CAN SEE NUNS BEING GROPED, 3 YEARS OLD STRIP SEARCHED, ARTIFICIAL BREASTS BEING PULLED OUT AND INVALIDS HAVING THEIR COLOSTOMY BAGS UNHOOKED AND DRENCHING THEM WITH URINE. YOU CAN HAVE THE 'NAKED X-RAY' OR THE 'INTIMATE BODY SEARCH', YOUR CHOICE. REMEMBER IN SCHOOLS WE TEACH TODDLERS TO SCREAM WHEN SOMEONE PUTS A HAND DOWN THEIR PANTS, NOW THE TSA THUG JUST ORDERS MOTHER TO 'SHUT KID UP'. MAKES GREAT VIDEO.

OBAMA SAYS IT WILL MAKE US SAFER AND BESIDES AMERICAN HAVE TO LEARN TO STAY IN THEIR 'PLACE' WHEN AUTHORITY COMMANDS THEM. THE FACT THAT IT IS INEFFECTIVE, INSULTING AND INVASIVE TO ALL AMERICAN IS BETTER THAN PROFILING SOME PEOPLE WHO REALLY DO CARRY BOMBS. SCREENERS MAY NOT JUDGE BETWEEN NUN, 2 YEAR OLD, INVALID AND WILD EYED GUY WITH FULL BEARD AND CHANTING. WE ARE ALL EQUALLY GUILTY. BUT WAIT - AND HERE IS THE BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY- JANET NAPOLITANO, DIRECTOR OF HOMELAND SECURITY ( ALSO KNOWN AS 'BIG SIS') IS CONSIDERING AN 'EXCEPTION'. SHE WAS TOLD BY CAIR ( COUNCIL ON AMERICAN ISLAMIC RELATIONS) THAT IT WOULD BE INSULTING TO APPLY EITHER OPTION TO MUSLIM WOMEN WEARING BURQAS. AS OF SUNDAY SHE WAS CONSIDERING MAKING THEM AN EXCEPTION.

I HOPE YOU ARE FOLLOWING ME! WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY! A GUY I MET AT THE THRIFT SHOP NAMED RALPH SOME-THING-OR-OTHER PITCHED HIS NEW COMPANY RENT-A-BURQA TO ME AND I INVESTED A CHUNK OF MCLAUGHLIN INVESTMENTS IN IT. SETTING UP SHOP AT AIRPORTS JUST IN FRONT THE SECURITY SEARCHES. PASSENGERS SEE PEOPLE IN LINE BEING DEGRADED AND HUMILIATED. THEN THEY SEE THE 'RENT-A-BURQA' KIOSK AND DECIDE TO RENT A BURQA SO THEY CAN GO AROUND THE SECURITY GROPING. THEY HAVE THEIR CHOICE OF BURQA IN BASIC BLACK OR HIJAB IN SHINY BLACK FOR 20 BUCKS. A NO-BRAINER CHOICE AND APPROVED OF BY OBAMA AND BIG SIS.

I KNOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. CRACKPOT DON'T YOU REALIZE BURQA AND HIJABS ARE EXPENSIVE AND YOU WILL NEVER MAKE ANY MONEY BECAUSE THE PASSENGERS WILL NOT RETURN THEM WHEN THEY GET TO THEIR DESTINATION. GIVE ME SOME CREDIT! RALPH SAYS HE WILL USE BLACK PLASTIC THRASH BAGS. ALL THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS CUT EYE HOLES IN THEM. FOR WOMEN WE USE THE 30 GAL. SIZE AND FOR MEN (YOU BET PLENTY OF MEN WILL WEAR THEM AND JUST RAISE THE PITCH OF THEIR VOICES AT THE SECURITY POINT) WILL GET 50 GAL. BAGS.

THIS IS BIG, IT CAN'T FAIL. WE WILL BE ROLLING IN THE DOUGH. MOM OBJECTED THAT THE GOVERNMENT COULD CHANGE ITS MIND AND RECIND THE RULE OF THE GROPE SEARCH. SO I JUST ASKED HER, WHEN HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE GOVERNMENT CHANGING RULES JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID AND INEFFECTIVE? 'NEVER' SHE SAID AND REALIZED THE BRILLANCE OF THE PLAN.

THERE IS STILL ROOM FOR A FEW MORE INVESTORS SO TELL YOUR FRIENDS WHO BELIEVE IN THE UNENDING STUPIDITY AND MENDACITY OF GOVERNMENT.