Sunday, May 11, 2008


I, a disinterested civilian, have a plan! I have solved the problem of what is to be done about the detainees at Guantanamo that has caused such an anguished outcry from liberals and progressives. Liberal and progressive have argued that the detainees are just shepherds and peasants caught up in the fog of war and are victims of American brutality inflicted upon poor ‘third world’ innocents. On the other hand, the U.S. military contends they are dangerous terrorists taken on the battlefield while attempting to kill American troops, Afghan or Iraqi civilians. The squabbles between the two camps have resulted in lawsuits, demonstration, protests and acrimonious charges of torture and illegal detention. Barack Obama has pledged " while we’re at it we’re going to close Guantanamo. And we’re going to restore habeas corpus ... we’re going to lead by example - not just by word but deed- that’s our vision for the future". Hillary Clinton declares " I have certainly concluded that we should address any security issues on what to do with the remaining detainees , and close it once and for all". There has been a deadlock between the ‘free the detainees’ and ‘ corral the terrorists’ camps for going on five years. The problem is both sides are too closedmined and locked in their positions. I have taken a fresh look at the problem and have struck on a plan that solves the Guantanamo detainee problem quickly, simply and without redtape.

My plan! We immediately parole and release all detainees until such time as hearings or trials can be held in a manner demanded by the liberals and progressives. Each Member of Congress who advocates the immediate closing of Guantanamo would be assigned a ‘shepherd’ detainee, previously called a terrorist, who would remain with them until the ‘shepherd’ detainee case is resolved or the U.S. surrenders to the jihadists as some of the more progressive Congresspersons desire, at which time they would be free as birds. Committee chairpersons would be allotted an extra ‘shepherd ‘detainee and Speaker Pelosi and Senator Reid would receive no less than three detainees. The Democrat presidential candidates, Obama and Clinton, would each receive five ‘shepherd’ detainees. After these assignments any remaining ‘shepherd’ detainees could be assigned to the members of various organizations that have agitated for their release, such as the ACLU, Code Pink, or prominent professors at elite universities. I am sure there are sufficient detainees to go around.

Obviously the mentors, that is the Congressperson, Candidate or elitist, would want to keep his or her ‘shepherd’ close at hand to understudy the benefits of a progressive lifestyle. The shepherd would attend committee meetings with them, fly on presidential candidates’ airplanes, meet with gay and lesbian groups, women’s studies’ professors and visit other such enlightened progressives. Of course, the official would provide shelter in his or her own house, possibly a tent in the yard for those ‘shepherds’ yearning for their home dessert. How would we know if the Congressperson, Candidate or elitist was keeping the ‘shepherd’ with them at all times? Simple, we place matching electronic ankle bracelets on each sponsor and their ‘shepherd’. To make sure there is proper supervision an alarm would go off if they strayed too far from their detainee ( I am sure I saw this work in a movie once). I don’t see why the official or Candidate would be too inconvenienced by wearing the ankle bracelet because it would be an assurance that the ‘shepherd’ would always know where to find him or her. All ‘shepherds’ would be provided counseling support and financial subsidies by their mentors.

You may ask, how did a simple country boy like me come up with such a simple solution for a problem that has eluded America’s best political minds? I thought about the case of Abdullah Salih Al Ajmi, a recently released ‘shepherd’ (formerly terrorist) from Guantanamo who went from detainee to detonator because of the lack of a post- release support group of the type advocated by progressives. Shepherd Ajmi was sprung from Guantanamo by the high priced law firm of Sherman and Sterling because his habeas corpus rights were being violated. So he left Guantanamo as a ‘shepherd’ and reappeared as a terrorist in Iraq where he blew himself up along with six innocent Iraqis. The law firm of Sherman and Sterling has declined to represents the survivors of his attack. Some progressives have opined that he was stressed out from the time in Guantanamo.

Mr. Ajmi becomes the 37th former detainee to revert from ‘shepherd’ back to terrorist and spill innocent blood back in their homeland. I guarantee that if we release and attach the detainees to our Candidates, Congresspersons and progressives, each time there was an explosion, from a ‘shepherd’ reverting to ‘terrorist’ there would be one less vote in Congress for closing Guantanamo. I suspect there would soon be an avalanche of progressives getting a reality check. There would only be one victim per explosion and the problems of liberalism and terrorism would be simultaneously solved.