Sunday, August 24, 2008

I love Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. Since she was chosen by the Democrats to take over the Speakership two years ago, I have regarded her sheer incompetence, over the top Democrat partisanship and absolute inability to produce sensible legislation as reflecting badly on her. But now in a blinding flash of insight, I have come to regard her among the greatest of House Speakers. Even her leadership of the Congress to an all time low approval rating of 9% underestimates her breathtaking lack of ability.

Why have I changed my opinion? Nancy Pelosi’s incompetence and obstructionism are a favor to the nation. Years ago Judge Gideon Tucker observed, "No Man’s life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session." Few Americans can disagree that everyday the Congress is in session, citizens’ freedoms are chipped away and the nation’s treasures wasted with foolish and ill conceived legislation. But Nancy Pelosi has made us safe even when the legislature is in session. Under her gimlet eye, the 110th Congress has produced virtually no legislation, thereby preserving freedom and treasure for regular Americans. If the Congress cannot pass it, they cannot spend it.

The 110th Congress under Nancy’s ‘leadership’ has passed fewer public laws than any Congressional session in recorded history, a total of 294. To make up for doing virtually nothing, for which I am relieved and thankful, the 110th Congress has set the record of 1,932 symbolic resolutions that equal hot air and inaction. Resolutions have no effect as law but give the appearance that the Democrats controlling Congress are doing something when in reality they are just spinning wheels. Resolutions are basically ’smoke and mirrors’. The Wall Street Journal reports that "fully one-quarter of the workweek (of Congress) is typically devoted to debating and passing symbolic measures." Had Speaker Pelosi actually tried to pass some of the legislation from her quasi-socialist agenda think of how much additional liberty and treasure we citizens would lose. Her incompetence and obstructionism are true patriotism, even if unintended. If you don’t think that Congressional inaction saves you money, just review what has happened when legislation has been enacted this term. Taxpayers are now on the hook for as much as 300 billion dollars in bad home loans. A $168 billion economic stimulus package has resulted in virtually no economic stimulus but each of the three mailings to taxpayers, bragging about the giveaway, cost taxpayers $25 million. Three times 25 equals $75 million dollars. On the other hand the resolutions ‘passed’ cost nothing. Some of the resolutions from the gaggle of windbags in Congress were: ‘National Watermelon Month,’ ‘Heat Stroke Awareness Month,’ ‘National Substitute Teachers Week’ and the ‘Day of the American Cowboy.’ 1,932 versions of such nonsense! Yet to be passed are any 2009 appropriation bills which are genuine constitutional duties of the House.

Speaker Pelosi’s spokesman claims it is not Democrat incompetence but Democrat obstructionism that is responsible for inaction. He stated that Pelosi’s tactic is designed to delay action until after the election when Barack Obama becomes President. Speaker Pelosi is so enamored of an Obama presidency that she calls Obama, "a leader that God has blessed us with at this time." Obviously she is more like a starstruck fan than a politician, overcome by Obama’s celebrity and charisma. This week, giddy with anticipation of the Obama administration, she told Democrats, "You know what, I'm going to tell you something. Lighten up folks. We have a planet to save." A planet to save! Certainly being a savior is not above her ‘pay grade’ and ambition. She may anxiously await the chance to ‘tax and spend’ in an Obama administration, but until then I hope to cherish every day that Congress spins its wheels.

Currently Congress is on summer vacation, a break of 6 weeks at taxpayers’ expense. We would be dollars and freedoms ahead if we just paid the Congresspersons to stay on vacation or just go on junkets (coach class) touring the world. We can limit the damage they do by keeping them out of Washington. If the Congress must be in session, I suggest Pelosi have a windmill installed on the chamber floor to generate electricity from the hot air generated by the windbags. Mark Twain evaluated the situation: "Suppose you are an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

A do-nothing Congress is a good Congress and Nancy Pelosi is doing a great job making the 110th Congress a really great Congress by that standard. Americans loved ‘I Love Lucy’ for Lucy’s zany antics on her comedy show in the fifties. Well, I love Nancy for her loony antics too. Silly like Lucy’s fictional adventures yes, so let’s keep Nancy passing fictional resolutions as if they were real.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Paris Hilton, until now, known as an airhead Hollywood celebrity, has deflated the Obama hot air balloon. A poll this week at shows that eight times as many Americans say they would vote for Paris Hilton to be president over Barack Obama. Many thought that Obama’s summer intern tour of Iraq, Afghanistan, Berlin and Paris was the beginning of the end of his campaign of ‘hope’ and ‘change’ devoid of content. But it was not Paris, France but Paris, the Hollywood airhead, who has called attention to the vacuousness and superficiality of Barack’s highly vaunted "Energy Plan."

Ms. Hilton was first injected into the presidential campaign by a McCain Campaign ad that showed Obama receiving mindless rock star adulation from adoring Berliners and then added fleetingly the faces of Ms. Hilton and pop star Brittany Spears. The connection was that all three are all celebrity and no substance. No one ever suspected that in the clash of a demigod, Barack, and a celebrity, Paris, that Paris would reveal the better energy plan. Acknowledging that she has been thrust into the role of presidential candidate, Paris put her own campaign commercial on the popular internet site Youtube. Adorned in a leopard print bikini and reclining in a lounge chair, Paris expounded a two-fold energy plan that called for drilling for domestic oil with proper safeguards and encouragement of research and development of energy alternative sources such as wind power and electric.

Contrast this with Obama haranguing college audiences, enthusiastic but uninformed, about his plan. "We could save all the oil that they are talking about obtaining from drilling if everybody would just inflate their tires and get regular tune-ups." In other words, if we rubes would quit driving our jalopies on flat tires the U.S. would not need to drill for oil and we would have ‘energy independence. His figuring that the nation could save 3 to 4 % in oil consumption by proper tire inflation is laughed at by all automotive experts. It proves that Obama fares better promising ‘hope,’ ‘change’ and ‘pie in the sky’ than proposing stupid, liberal ideas unattached to facts.’ In her ad, Paris Hilton, hot, blond and in bikini, looks more presidential than Obama. Shortly after she threw her bikini into the presidential ring, an internet site, asked the crucial question: "Who would you support for President?" Choices were John McCain, Barack Obama or Paris Hilton. Republican John McCain got 72% of the votes, followed by Independent Paris Hilton with 24% and, bringing up the rear, Democrat Barack Obama with 3%. The voters chose an airhead celebrity speaking commonsense by a margin of 8 to 1 over a liberal Barack spouting psychobabble and nonsense.

Paris’s profession is being a celebrity and entrepreneur, not a thinker, she is known to be savvy in gaining attention. In a few days she, and probably a publicist and her agent, put together an energy plan very close to John McCain’s and what the American people have been demanding. No geniuses, a few staff and a couple days yielded a workable policy. On the other hand Barack, who has been gearing up for his presidential bid since 2006, has over 800 full-time advisers all claiming to be geniuses. They come up with a plan telling Americans how inflate their auto tires. There is an old proverb that "1,000 fools do not make a wise man." Now I grant that Obama only had 800 advisers but I doubt that another 200 would have helped.

In trying to salvage Obama’s ridiculous position many news anchors and commentators have tried to prove that if Americans all get together and inflate our tires then no oil drilling or nuclear power plants will be necessary. I see Obama standing tall on inauguration day in front of the White House blessing the crowd with a tire gauge after he takes the oath of office. As a first act he could create the Energy and Tire Inflation Department which would employ thousands of officials as a bicycle patrol ( green friendly) that would stop vehicles or check cars in garages for properly inflated tires.

What accounts for Paris Hilton’s commanding lead over Obama? First, she is better looking. Second, she has earned her fortune by self promotion and profiteering on her celebrity status in contrast to Obama who has been dependent on the government lard bucket for his whole career. Third, a sense of fun. Don’t forget Americans not only have a sense of humor ( where’s Obama’s? ) but also believe that entrepreneurs trumps bureaucrats.
Good news for Obama! Checking the closing internet poll numbers I see that he is up to being the choice of 4% but Paris is still at 24%. Some suggest that John McCain, who is the choice of 72%, offer Paris the Vice-presidency. I suggest the 4% who believe in Obama’s ‘Energy Plan,’ go to your local Obama Campaign Headquarters and get your free tire gauge and donate a tire pump to help re-inflate your candidates’s ego with his greatest strength - hot air.